I remember my first internship like it was yesterday (it was really in 2008). I was so excited! After settling into my summer housing, I checked my email and I saw a message from my internship manager. It said that they wanted me to do some work in Python. Python?! I had NEVER in my LIFE used Python! My excitement immediately turned to fear. What had I gotten into? They think I know more than I do! What if I can’t do the work? What if I can’t keep up?! I don’t know everything! I’m a fraud! I’m gonna embarrass myself, my school, women AND Black people!! I just KNEW I was gonna be the example for why “girls cant do STEM” (Yes. I was dramatic lol). I called one of my professors and I cried. She gave me some words of encouragement and assured me that I would be fine.
I ended up doing pretty well that summer. As the days and weeks went by, I realized they didn’t expect me to know everything. I saw that actually knew a lot! I could keep up and I could contribute!
Now, as I head into my 7th or 8th internship, I’ll admit that I still have those nerves. But now, they’re JUST nerves. It’s not fear! Over the years I’ve learned that that fear and the imposter syndrome that comes with it, in part, stems from the false belief that we must know everything. Here’s the truth: No one knows everything. The key is to use what you DO know, your inquisitive nature and the desire to excel to learn and to figure things out.
So, I have no clue what the next few weeks will hold. But I know that I’m prepared and ready for the challenge. I know you are too!
- Jessica
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